I wiki-ed 二十四孝 and was directed to a page full of chinese characters without an exact explanation of what that is ):
I should win best girlfriend award finally for being extremely nice to the boyfriend because I am  二十四孝 girlfriend and less grouchy, petty, fierce, unreasonable as compared to previous sufferers but still a bit. Advance technologies allow you to bleach the leopard to cover the spots now but not totally, just lightening is a remarkable improvement. Still, 二十四孝 gets tired from being reminded of the past automatically herself. 二十四孝 is not so 二十四孝 after all..

I was deciding between a light blue and white top a moment ago and I settled for white.
I was deciding between a black and white top another moment ago and I settled for white too.
I am deciding between a white and navy top now and I cannot make up my mind ):
But one thing i'm sure, I am going to declare to the boyfriend I bought 3 items just before October!

Majority starts to play after 18 because you get the freedom, because you grew up, because you are entitled to show your ID proudly and walk through the entrance of the club instead of using somebody else's. I think mummy wants me to grow up and be a normal person in her point of view, she wants me to be nice to the boyfriend whom she hope is the last, don't even step into a pub and settle down for the future. I am only 1 year after play life ): Before she slept today she told me to not change boyfriend and stabilise this one again, again, again! On the way back to Malacca on Sunday 30 minutes were dedicated to me from daddy on his lecture regarding how to treat the boyfriend nicely and not change boyfriend anymore. She asked me to pay the boyfriend's mother a visit soon because after paying a visit I cannot run anywhere far because she knows after I pay visit my mindset is stuck, very cunning.
Why so serious... ):
LEE YI DE IS GLOATING



Anyway too many white, I got the navy.


我好挂住姑娘！
HAHAHAHA

Life is a bitch. For a really long time I had no choice but to agree that life is a bitch, a damn whore.
Suddenly it does not seem bad anymore..
I witness the many fortunate events taking place, the opportunities and people who comes by.

EG gave me a slot in IAHGames for the game competition during GCA 2009 and job scope was to marshal the game match. We were expecting a whole series of matches with tired legs because we'd be standing while watching the match but the first day was screwed up because Starhub allocate too little bandwidth to the company and matches couldn't run concurrently. We were expected to end early on day 1 but thanks to Starhub everyone was delayed and halfway through we found ourselves playing games on facebook and msn-ing :D Mummy texted me and asked if it was tiring and whether I can take it or not. That was 2 hours after work had started and I told her I haven't been doing anything and we are all sitting down in a circle making friends because there was technical problems. She asked we are still being paid while chatting and truth to be told, we were paid 88bucks on the first day for second days for an average of 3 matches observed per person which lasted not more than an hour and 10 hours of chat, play and computer!! :D
Then again, we expect day 2 to be a more busy day with the Starhub cup running but all marshals were occupied at the same point of time for only once, the first match, the 32s. By the time we were down to the 16s there were more than enough marshals and we had our fair share of collecting goodies from other booth as well as dropping by the food fair which is only 1 hall away for lunch and food. I HAD LAKSA, DAMN SHIOK! Because everyone was so immensed in facebook and msn, 2 headsets were lost ): We were guilty but the really nice in charge said it's okay, why so nice...
By day 3 everyone was sitting down while watching the match for fouls and thanks to the relax boss and really friendly players from other countries, it was a breeze. Unexpectedly day 3 was the busiest and it lasted 12 hours, more pay we like. Despite being really really busy we had time to go for another round of goodies collection. The last day left me tired because I woke up early for 4 consecutive days but when we reached home we realised we missed everyone because it's over ):
I WAS UPSET WHEN IT'S OVER since I earned a good sum of pay for 4 days of fun, laughter, oohh-ing and aahh-ing when I see cute mascot and the running around with the whack stick. They say we are meeting up soon, for the collection of pay cheque and a dinner without whack sticks! :D I felt a surge of sadness again, damn.

I was suppose to work for another event today but because there were more than enough manpower so I do not have to head down but the in charge compensate me half of the pay :D Again, EG threw this job to me but the poor him who got liquor poisoning had to head down still, very very poor thing.

I wanted to pass the boyfriend something earlier on and I was around that area getting something before heading to his place. A driver saw me getting onto the car and he reversed so apparently that driver wants my lot. I wanted to make it fast so I turned too early and there was this really hard abrasion with the car next to me, the impact was hard ): The very nice uncle who is the owner checked the scratched and told me it's okay, damn. At that very moment I realised nice people do exist I felt so touched and the petty man in his 20s who told me his ugly Hyundai Matrix is a fucking new car and claim $200 for his tiny scratch less than 4cm is definitely an ass who is not as generous as the uncle, must be his first second hand ugly and cheap car!!! ~!@#$%^&*() APPARENTLY NOT NEW WHAT! OBVIOUSLY NOT.

Nice people do exist, do exist.

Mix dropped by GCA when I was most busy and experiencing a damn technical glitch and gave yours truly a Hello Kitty planner for 2010 and Hello Kitty towel :D The boyfriend dropped by my house to install a Hello Kitty webcam the day after GCA was over when his girlfriend woke up from a 13 hours sleep looking damn ugly.. I cannot believe he saw me in my ugly state many times already ):

Uncle is getting married on Sunday and we're heading back to Malacca! I got this Chinese New Year feel and everyone is excited about it, we don't know why too. We are just excited. The boyfriend is not, the boyfriend is sulking.

After a talk with mix I was refreshed and reminded to love again.

Today, the army brother brought the girlfriend, sister and I to marina square for dinner. He took an extremely long time to decide on Seoul Garden or Yuki Yaki. The raw salmon sashimi lover him thought that since Yuki Yaki is a japanese restaurant and since the parent company of it and Sakura buffet is the same, there MUST be salmon sashimi. I found salmon in the end but not sashimi, must be a little disappointed but he cooked the salmon for us still with his passion to make sure we find it nice,very amusing. Sometimes I really think the brother wants us to be like one big loving family, we're almost there, in fact, we get together well now :D If everyday is going to be like today, if everyday we gather round one table to dine and joke, if everyday we take long car ride trying to figure out the direction, if everyday we play like today :( that recruit is booking in tomorrow, ah. He and the sis suddenly went haywired and went to bowl, the girlfriend and I sat there laughing out ass off when every attempt sis make went into the drain. I am really glad for everything today, been long since the siblings went for a day out together :)

Miss Yeung had been busy with her queue number, restocking paper and cashiering job but she had been nice, very nice. I fell ill at Jurong and she came over to send the sickly me home, hahahaha. She watched the hokkien movie and got freaked out by the fat ghost who really dont look scary. She and sis went to Daiso, bougt a weird ball! Worse still, she had sis was laughing like mad at Crystal Jade when we were having lunch, they totally lost control! She wants to buy a blue Honda Fit to go along with my pink Fit! Apparently, blue is the husband what!

I bought this really cute air freshener, wants to hang it on the car but I'm scare it's going to block my view and at the same time, I'm scare that it'd freak ah gong out if I didn't tell him beforehand cos the air freshener looks cute but weird for a freshener. It looks like a bookmark with a panda except that the bookmark looking thing emits a kind of car fresherner smell but it really dont look a single bit like one!

Pim said we shall watch Orphan during her holiday and we thought we should ask KianLam along. KianLam told me LokTo's birthday is coming but I went off topic again when he ask me to go back to TP, hahahaha. Random.

On a happier note, i bought yet again the same pair of sandals because i cannot help loving it. Also, I bought a dress after revisiting at same area twice because I cannot make up my mind :( anyway i got it in the end, lol.

Note to self,
meet cousins during the December holidays, save more and buy own daughter, Joli's birthday on the way!

Most importantly, I fear.
:(

Suddenly I am busy for the entire day!

I thought all the clothes will only reach on Friday but when I woke up this morning I saw the parcel lying on the floor right beside the door. Thank god I didn't miss the postman else I'd have to head down to the post office to collect that don't look like 10kg but truely is 10kg parcel. I thought the maid signed it for me but I saw tingting's signature, she went to school for 1 period and called mummy to fetch her home because she feels really lethargic(not enough sleep) and nausea(because she was about to dissect a lamb's, or maybe a sheep's heart), LOL.

I slept till 4pm because I didn't know the clothes are here already else I'd have wake up earlier to pack and everything ):
Mummy allow me to stay at home to pack the clothes, arrange the parcels to be sent out and everything. Tingting who is suppose to be studying for her test tomorrow don't want to study and wants to help me instead because she gave up too. I think she'll do well anyway :D

Actually I think I know what I can do next and what I want next and what I am going to do next because I really think my first step took off fast.
Everytime life goes on smoothly I tell mix I need to go to the temple to pray HAHAHAHA

The great me also realised when you know what you want next and you are enjoying what you are doing, you stopped looking back and stopped dwelling on and wished terribly time will turn back. At least, I feel this way now and I really know of people who think this way too.

I happen to be talking to mix every night when I am doing work and looking at design. It so happen too that everytime I send her the picture of my wanted design she can go on and on and tell me what colour we should use this and that, what design makes you look fat and whatever. She is damn useful when it comes to clothes and colours and designs, HAHAAHHA

Out of a sudden mummy got a red E63 and realising it IS E63 I wanted it, HAHAHHAHAH. Because it looks big and business like and I like to act as if I own a very big company and is very busy and need a big phone HAHAHAHAHHAHH. Mummy wanted to give it to tingting because her phone is the worst phone I've ever seen. Her battery life last no longer than 1 day when she don't use it at all and less than 30 minutes when she talk on the phone. It is obviously the battery problem and I volunteered to buy her a new battery but she said she wants a new phone not a new battery.
In the end, I get the E63 and I buy her the phone she wants for birthday, perfect!

I should sleep and hopefully tomorrow keeps me busy and make me happy!

I am sort of free now and I hope I get really busy from tomorrow till National Day. More is good, more is money!

I think mummy is so desperate for me to finish school so much that she really dont care where I study anymore.
Anyway, I managed to earn my little sum of money and I was seriously overjoyed whenever I see money come in because I spend day and night put in my serious effort and see a little result! :D

OK more to come!!

4 days of work, preparation, effort and making sure every little detail is perfect.
I am so satisfied with myself for once.

I forgot about brother's graduation photos, the kan chiong mother became even more kan chiong ever since her son was enlisted. I don't know what is the big fuss but I am pissed because we have to dine outside on Saturday because "kor returned from Tekong after 2 weeks." We were playing mahjong on Saturday night after that irritating dinner and we were only halfway through our first round when ah ma starts chanting continuously repeating how tired kor is when he said he is fine. Worse still, our phone kept ringing and mother called for we don't know how many times to ask us to stop asap to let kor rest, seriously, what? The king returns home? Fuck.
I am happy the brother is home but what is the big fuss about? It is irritating, overrated and unneccessary. I did not pick him up when he return home for the first time and I was questioned why I don't want to go. Do I have to hire a troupe of lion dance and whatever? Crap.

I have this strong overwhelming desire to kill myself and destroy the world I live in.
Why SIngapore?
Why Song?
Why recession?
Why am I required to know what I want?
In fact, why do I grow so fast? Why am I 19, 15 was like yesterday..

Don't call, don't sms, dont't bother.

Grant me a time machine and I was continuously, again and again turn time back to the period between 2005-2007.
Once it all end I will turn time back to 2005-2007 again and repeat the process.
Many times I feel I lost so much.
Most of the time I look back to that period without fail.

Jasper wanted an impromptu clique bonding, this time round Deric and Norin was present :D
Actually, I skipped lesson for bonding, we don't know when is the next time we will bond.

It will be lovely if we all sleep early tonight and wake up tomorrow morning,
put on our uniform, pull back our ponytails and gather at the back of the classroom anticipating recess then dismissal.

Time don't slow for me,
don't wait for you.

All of a sudden, I don't know what I really want in life. I lost my directions in the midst of searching for what my inner soul really seeks. All I know is I want money, it sounds absurd and desperate but somehow it all sets in as we grow. I used to know brother as one who study computer engineering because he loves what he is doing but he had a sudden change and wanted to turn towards banking because of the wealth. I guess it is normal but how now? I don't know what I want ):

Today is Wednesday! Brother is finally coming home on Friday :D

Gerald was irritating me yesterday when he kept asking me to transfer all the songs in my computer into the thumbdrive and pass it to him so I wanted to get my eyesight checked before I pass him the thumbdrive but the optical shops were closed everywhere. I went down our secondary school all the way into Seng Kang passing all the places we always used to be at and when I finally reached his house I remembered how we used to stand by the kitchen window in Gerald's house eyeing the bus that Jasper wants to catch back to Woodland and starts to delay time so that Jasper will miss the bus and stayover with us :D
That irritating Gerald was very irritating because I was hungry, very and he kept holding me back asking me to slack with him and talk and talk about nothing. Finally he had enough of my complains and he decided to get changed so we can go find some food but when he was upstairs "changing" Lovell called and I knew Gerald told Lovell we are together la, idiot. Lovell started telling me a lot of this and that before I ask him what he really wanted. He said he wants to meet us and hang out instead of staying at his auntie's house, I knew he wanted us to go fetch him la that idiot.
Gerald finally transferred all the songs into his ipod before he is willing to come down. Initially he told me 5 minutes 5 minutes but I had enough time to top up petrol at the nearest petrol station before I turn over to his house and before I reached he tell me he is already waiting downstairs but when I reached and see no one, I called him and he said he is in the lift wth. We embarked on our journey to Lovell's auntie's house somewhere near Kovan Road in the whole lot of private house and we took a lot of turn before we finally reach our final destination. The moment Lovell hopped up he kept pestering saying he wants to watch movie and this and that, Gerald don't want to watch movie, he wants to sing, conflict.
I don't know how but we ended up at Tampines Mall because I kept complaining and I need food badly. Lovell continues pestering for movie and Xiang came over in the end because we wanted an impromtu clique bonding. Too bad Jasper was missing, he is in Woodlands with his injured leg and girlfriend.
I don't know how again but we ended up at MinXiang's house and in the end we ended up at Punggol Marina and all we did was sit on the swing, chit chat and look at the sea.

The day before brother was enlisted we had dinner together. Throughout the whole dinner everybody was telling him what to do, what to take care of and so on. For once, ah gong kept looking at him for the whole night since they were seated beside each other. Ah gong said when brother is away he will need to place a chair at the window and sit by the window while holding a phone in his hand. He looks out of the window every single time I go out, waiting to see the car back before he can sleep in peace. He says after brother is away, he will need to sit by the window and wait for me to be back while holding the phone waiting for brother to call from camp.
Before he left I told him I want to buy more books so when he enter the university he will see me inside too. He passed me money when only the 2 of us are left in the room alone and told me to study hard. I miss brother so much. Ah gong gave him money to bill for the dinner and there was $150 change. I told him since he is richer now he should give me $10 more, he gave me $50 instead.
Last night he called and said he is going to bath soon and sleep because he needs to wake up early in the morning.
After I hang the phone I suddenly remember there is no water heater inside, my brother don't shower in cold water..
Today he starts his training for the first time, I think the last time he ran was many many years ago, I wonder if he is taking it well..
The weather there is so much hotter than here, I wonder if he can take the heat..

I saw this Hello Kitty microwave and grand piano online, cute! Next time I will dedicate a room to myself and set a pink mahjong table somewhere in the corner and lay out my Hello Kitty mahjong tiles and pinkify the room then kittify the whole room. Mr Teo who die die wants to claim he is the owner of the house(I seriously didn't force him to) says he won't enter the room :D

I shall start collecting Hello Kitty stuff for car because I saw one whole set of Hello Kitty car set which includes the cover for the steering wheel, for the handbrake, tissue box, handphone and of course car seat and the rear view mirror one and a lot of here and there but bottom line is it is damn chio. There is even a Hello Kitty exhaust pipe to attach to the pipe. I am determined to save money so I can get my pink car and drive it out, not park it at the carpark because my car no petrol and no money to top up and scare the whole Singapore with my pink car, WAHAHA the thought of it excites a lot! Teo said he will still continue riding with Song even if Song no longer drives a normal champagne sedan hyundai sonata but drives a girly, weird and disgusting pink hatchback honda fit but my instinct tells me he will strongly protest and rather walk from Bedok camp back to Serangoon Ave 1 if he sees a girly, weird, disgusting and horrifying pink kittified hatchback honda fit.
I shall study and study and study and save and save and save!

I am going to earn some money, I think I have to.

You know how there is always a sole black sheep among the herd of whites.
I think I am that black one.
I shouldn't have come into this place.

I think I did so much thing in one day today had been so constructive.

I had breakfast with daddy, mummy, tingting, brother and his girlfriend before daddy send us excluding tingting to tp for brother's graduation ceremony. The "school song" was played and it reminded me of open house fun ): Anyway because of brother we got to be seated at this special area for the gold, silver and bronze medalist and we got to wear the damn ugly silver flower so they know you are "special guest" and we are retreated to the private function room for reception with the guest of honour and our medalist :D I can see how proud of brother and how happy mummy is because she kept telling me take picture take picture! That stupid brother didn't want to take out his gown with the medal around his neck but again, I am so proud of him too. I thought my brother was a very very quiet person but I realised he know majority of the people in his course, HAHAHAA. Yes, I thought he had just a few friends but omg the cheer and applause for brother was so loud when he receive 4 awards :DDD Brother took out his gown and medal and let me wear it!

I met most importantly shining just now back at science school foodcourt and okay, I was touched because they stayed back 2 hours to wait for me. I thought shining was the only one but the whole clique was there, except stupid dalston who pon-ed lesson again. We had long long long catch up before I rush home and bath and meet miss mix. Shining tried to trick me back to tp next thursday and after a while I realised it was my birthday. She accidentally let out the celebration secret, she is still shining.

I told mix I don't want to celebrate birthday this year because I feel so immuned. I told Clement I didn't want to celebrate my birthday when he asked me to be free on that day itself. I told shining I don't want to celebrate my birthday but she gave that puppy look and said they got it planned already. My initial plan was to go reflect what happened for 19 years.

Mix said dinner just now was birthday dinner and I got my present! I wanted to change the pillow sheet immediately LOL but mummy say next week when it is my room's turn to get bedsheet changed because she assigned a room to get bedsheet changed every week.

I will be back. I need to get eyeshut now, I was awake since 5pm 20th may until now, omg omg omg. I was so tired when I drive just now and it was raining so heavily I'm so scare I will bang into someone or a car so much that I drove like really really slowly.

因为你有你的人生 我有我的旅程
I have bad sense of direction and seriously after seeing brother's achievement, I think I need to do better and I don't know if this direction is the right way out. Brother kept telling me you can you can you can when I tell him I am so sad I am not as great as he is. Actually I think he will be so happy for me if I am in his position too, I think he will attend my graduation too and take picture with me! Brother, sister and I are responsible to make mummy and daddy happy and proud. So prioritise, prioritise, prioritise!

I was doing my work with my earpiece on when I hear sister tossing and turning around for very long. I had my music on but I can hear her and I am damn irritated to be honest but she sat up suddenly and tell me her head aches a lot in tears, my poor girl. She held on to the left side of her head and so I assumed only the left side is pain then she tell me the right side is feeling giddy and she wants to vomit. I know she must be in serious pain but I cannot stop laughing a bit because she can actually divide her left and right brain into two different kind of symptoms, so cool.

Brother is graduating at 9.30am! I'm so proud of brother but he makes me stress in certain way. I told him I am so going to stand up and clap with he receive his silver medal and he ask me to stay away from the ceremony ): How can.. I will have lunch with pim also! OMG! I think pim misses mummy too, lol. I remember coming home one day after lesson to see pim in mummy's room watching tv with tingting and showing her the things she bought for tingting and me when she was in the mall just now ): I MISS HER SO MUCH.

你出现我身边
像个奇迹发生没想到会是你
让我如此失魂我心中的感觉
是这样陌生快乐的牵挂
在相聚的每一分
曾以为我见过所有爱的可能
这一刻才明了 我有多天真
想给你全世界 一刻我都不愿等
想要你的心 却怕不能成真
因为你有你的人生 我有我的旅程
在前方还有等着你的人
你会哭会笑会爱会伤神
你会不会敲我的门
虽然你对我的认真 我也感动万分
你终究不是属于我的人
但记得在你孤单的时候
我会伸出双手 我会是你朋友 到永久
Maybe in the first place I am not a relationship person, maybe I am not cultivated to the very very bounded to one person very into one person very long term kind, maybe. Sometimes I don't know myself. I know I look at it as a long term thing but when the slightest thing don't work out I try to get myself out of the situation because a little flaw in it makes it seem so "not going to work out".

There are only 6 months left, going 5.
I know I had to start work but you know how the demons of distraction and procrastination always fight till they win you?
I have to, I have to.
In fact, I'm so scared of the exam.
I am indeed.

I met a really naive person, I gave up talking to the person. He irritate the hell out of me and kept trying to stuff his brainless idea into my mind. What is the world coming to? This person is weird,  very very weird. This person wants me to introduce opposite sex friends to this person because this person wants to find a partner. This person is 2 years older than yours truly and this person is doing what a 13 year old would do. What the hell. This person is mad. This person tells me my mindset is very immature because this person thinks that it is not ok to like/love a person for no reason! This person ask me what do I mean by chemistry when I said chemistry between a guy and g girl, you don't know what is chemistry as in the chemistry I talk about? Seriously, you are so matured. This person thinks that with a "talent" like "music" like knowing how to play an instrument like the piano or violin, knowing how to compose songs and knowing how to sing can easily makes you win the heart of an opposite sex because you possess this charming talent because this person believes that many girls fall for these talented people like Jay Chou, Lee Hom, Tank, Cao Ge and those yadah yadah you can think of. Wow, what talent you have. This person PARTICULAR thinks that this amazing 'talent' can make an opposite sex FALL FOR YOU, fall IN LOVE with you head over heels. This person cannot differentiate infatuation and love. I am so immature, this person is so matured I am so amazed.

I need to sleep very very badly but I lie for too long and am still awake.
I had an awfully bad argument with the boyfriend and we are so upset.
Okay, I was the only one who was in the argument, he was not but he is upset too.
We are upset.

I need a car for myself so badly but I don't want to pay for the fuel myself. That is so selfish. I like to start the engine to see the tank full, double check the IU and see the cashcard filled with enough credit to pass all the erp and carpark fees. I feel so horribly selfish. I top up the tank too, I do, but with the money in the compartments of the car. That is so selfish.
I need to change for the better. I need to start taking the bus and train, I think I am going to do so later when I meet mix and zr at Bugis for intensive chinese. It's chinese, omg.
Just now on my way home after lesson I saw this guy park his bike on the shoulder waiting for the erp period to be over, it was only 50 cents. But again, I remember passing that particular erp on tuesday and wednesday but it was not charging. Maybe it was friday's fault. Maybe he thought the erp was closed! Maybe maybe maybe.

Last tuesday I went back to TP with the boyfriend to pick Pim up after her TKD training and omg I saw so many of the TKD people :D It was very very lovely (: I saw kianlam the moment I stepped down the stair and pim the moment I pushed the door of the changing room :DD The boyfriend and pim can chat! Their common topic was complaining about how terrible a driver I was because I did a turn and she swang from the most left to the most right behind because she didn't put on the seat belt but again, she was shoving the whole domokun toy I got for her into my face and I my attention diverted accidentally, tsk. I was pretty relieved because the boyfriend kept saying he don't want to talk to strangers when we were waiting for her training to end because he thinks that all my friends are as crazy as mix.

I am supposed to bath, get myself changed and head out to get whatever I need to get or else I am going to be late for lesson but lazy ass refused to budge. I just kept spotting the difference in fb, HAHAHAHA. I need to get my stuff at the Central before I head off for lesson and I'm afraid I will get lost on my way to Central and that's not all. I'm scare I will get lost from Central to school also, shit la ~!@#$%^&*()